"Toning Shoes" Can Suck It. xo, Nike

I first fell in love with Nike advertising when it came out with the first real round of Nike Women's Running ads. I've always been an athlete so it was like an answered prayer when an athletic company finally understood that I am female, I am an athlete, I do not worry about how my ass looks in my running shorts as much as how they perform, and I should be celebrated God Damn It. For the first time in my young life I was being told to celebrate my thunder thighs and my strong swimmer shoulders, not that every woman's reason for exercising is to look like the models on the covers of magazines.

Here are my two favorites:



Since these ads, Nike has cooled off celebrating towards women like this. Until now.

Anyone that has tried to get in shape, lose a few pounds, or train for a half-marathon can tell you they'd like a shortcut - a quick fix that would remove all the extra effort they're going to have to put in to get the results they want. The "toning shoes" revolution, if you can call it that, gave new motivation to the perpetually lazy. Wear these shoes and your ass will look fantastic. Seriously, that simple. Nike finally responded with this ad:

A lovely comentator at AdWeek thought this was a fail because it didn't address the source of the competition - women do want a quick fix. She is right in that "toning shoes" are the fastest growing category of footwear, which leads to the same conclusion spanx and diet pills give - people are lazy and want results without the effort. Unfortunately for her, fortunately for Nike, she missed the point. This ad isn't convincing lazy women that they don't want ass toning shoes, its convincing women that consider themselves real athletes that they make the right decision every day getting their asses in shape the old fashioned way. I'll admit, I've been tempted by the toning shoes' claims, but this ad snapped me back to reality. There are no quick fixes. In life. So buck up, get off your ass, do the work, and your muscles will ache with hard-earned lactic acid in the morning.